Standing Outside the Fire
by Dwaraea
Summary: An anonymous woman talks about her first Beltane rite. No details, if you get my meaning! Song by Garth Brooks.


It was my first Beltane, my first night at the fires. I was nervous, unsure, merely a maiden in the springtime. How I longed to be callous and proud, like the other women. Those women always got chosen first, the experienced, practiced, casual ladies, never maidens like me.  
  
* We call them cool  
  
Those hearts that have no scars to show  
  
The ones that never do let go  
  
And risk the tables being turned *  
  
I was nothing like that. I was the brightflower maid, a simple peasant girl, barely ready and eagerly anticipating what was to come. How desperately I awaited the lighting of the fires, the wild dancing, what inevitably came after.  
  
* We call them fools  
  
Who have to dance within the flame  
  
Who chance the sorrow and the shame  
  
That always comes with getting burned *  
  
I tried to be calm, as I nervously stood there in the twilight. What else was I to do? The priestesses were walking round, each one baring a torch. They lit the logs, making what looked like a bonfire walkway, a path between the flames.  
  
* But you've got to be tough when consumed by desire  
  
'Cause it's not enough just to stand outside the fire *  
  
I was herded to one side of the huge twin pyres with the other women. The men were led to the other. I tried to behave as the others did, cool and unafraid. Truth be told, I was trembling like a rabbit, but I was too proud to let anyone see that.  
  
* We call them strong  
  
Those who can face this world alone  
  
Who seem to get by on their own  
  
Those who will never take the fall *  
  
The first woman was guided to the edge of the flames. She would not be led through the pathway, she and she alone would choose whether to go forth or turn back. She stood there, indecision grabbing hold for only a fraction of time. Only the crackling flames spoke. Then, she held her head high and walked through the fire.  
  
* We call them weak  
  
Who are unable to resist  
  
The slightest chance love might exist  
  
And for that forsake it all *  
  
I watched that first woman as she walked through, and the next and the next. Each woman was unique, each was the same. They blended and ran together, until I had convinced myself that the Goddess Herself walked through the fire this night.  
  
* They're so hell-bent on living, walking a wire  
  
Convinced it's not living if you stand outside the fire *  
  
It was my turn. I stood on the doormat of the walkway of flame, caught in terror's clutches. No, I could not let myself fall back. I held my head high, stuck out my chin, and walked through the fire.  
  
* Standing outside the fire  
  
Standing outside the fire  
  
Life is not tried, it is merely survived  
  
If you're standing outside the fire *  
  
As I reached the other side, I saw them. The men. A full score of them. Young and old, strong and crippled, fair and dark. From the hazy, flickering firelight, I saw one approach me. He was handsome, tall and lean. His hair was dark and curly, his eyes were bright, shining with love and lust in the fire's glow. Wordlessly, he took my hands, led me to one of the bonfires atop this hill. He kissed my lips, and then pushed himself back. In the still night air, the sounds of flutes and drums began, and we looked into each others' eyes.  
  
* There's this love that is burning  
  
Deep in my soul  
  
Constantly yearning to get out of control  
  
Wanting to fly higher and higher  
  
I can't abide  
  
Standing outside the fire *  
  
We danced half the night, running around the bonfire, and shared the rest under the beautiful stars, in the light of the full moon. I never knew his name, but his dark hair and bright eyes will always burn in my memory.  
  
* Standing outside the fire  
  
Standing outside the fire  
  
Life is not tried, it is merely survived  
  
If you're standing outside the fire *  
  
  
  
* Standing outside the fire  
  
Standing outside the fire  
  
Life is not tried, it is merely survived  
  
If you're standing outside the fire * 


End file.
